A poem...

April is "Poetry Month" in the land of teachers. However, I am just beginning to study poetry with my students, and April has just about expired. So, I have decided to post a poem (not of my own creation) in honor of Poetry Month and my love for poetry. This is a poem written by Allen Ginsberg in this book titled Howl that I ended up borrowing from a dear friend all the way back in high school and somehow still have to this day. So here it is...

SONG

The weight of the world

is love.

Under the burden

of solitude,

under the burden

of dissatisfaction

the weight,

the weight we carry

is love.

Who can deny?

In dreams

it torches

the body,

in thought

constructs

a miracle,

in imagination

anguishes

till born

in human --

looks out of the heart

burning with purity --

for the burden of life

is love,

but we carry the weight

wearily,

and so must rest

in the arms of love

at last,

must rest in the arms

of love.

That is only the first part of the poem; the rest of the poem is just as piquant and beautiful. I had a conversation with my sister recently about the idea of love--loving ourselves, loving who we are at this moment in time, loving how far we have come in our lives, and loving the possibilities of the future.

It is sometimes hard for me to realize that in order to open myself to the possibility of love (within and around myself) that I have to be more accepting of myself (and others) and less of a perfectionist. I wonder how many other people suffer from the same struggles? I have found that the more we talk about our difficulties, the less power they have over us and the more connections we begin to find among those people around us--people that maybe we thought we had very little in common with at one point.

I'll leave you with one more thought this evening...and that is a quotation that I have found to be true in my own life, an idea that has become exceptionally poignant for me right now: "Recognizing what we have done in the past is a recognition of ourselves. By conducting a dialogue with our past, we are searching how to go forward." (From Kiyoko Takeda)

To sleep or not to sleep...

I find it a little challenging to sleep these days...the first few days when I have to return from my relaxing vacation of traveling, sleeping, and fun back to my real world of teaching five days a week. Although I do have to say that when Samantha entered the room this morning, looked at the board for the Morning Work, and came over to me a little disappointed to say: "I was REALLY looking forward to writing in my journal this morning!" ...I just about fell out of my seat because I had actually thought I would give the kids a break from their journal writing on their first day back to school. How interesting and cool to hear on the first day back from Spring Break that one of my students was LOOKING FORWARD to composing a story in her writing journal!

I spent the past 9 days or so traveling from Durham to Boston and from Boston to Florida, just returning to Durham two days ago. (I am listening to my computer make the loudest racket and wondering when it is going to completely fail me...since I can't afford to get a new one quite yet.) Despite the bitterly cold, rainy weather in Boston on Saturday, I had a lovely time getting to be in another big city with wonderful friends. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures from that leg of my trip since Saturday was rainy and spent traversing a history museum and much of Sunday was spent relaxing, watching movies, and napping (not a bad vacation, right?).

I do have some pictures to commemorate the five or so days that I spent with my dad in Florida laying by the pool, eating great food, enjoying the hot sun (without humidity), eating ice cream, spending all day on a boat, bike riding, and sleeping in until well past 10am. I watched enough TV to become familiar with the latest shows and repeatedly view the same commercials...I can't say I'm proud of that, but it does make me appreciate the fact that I don't come home and space out in front of the TV every night, which apparently I could easily do, if given the opportunity.



A palm tree at the pool...



Out to dinner in the Venice look-alike area...






You know I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take pictures of wonderful, fluffy clouds!! (Especially when you can play the: What animal, object, etc. do you see in the clouds?)






Observing the wildlife before taking our airboat ride through the Everglades...










The beautiful and intricate mangrove trees that we drove through on our wild, rollercoaster airboat ride...



My dad and I standing outside his work...



They had all these great old cars outside the entrance for some race event going on at the country club, and I couldn't resist taking pictures of these marvelous pieces of art from the past... (I secretly LOVE old cars.)



I'll take this one please! ;)

Chess and Life...

This past weekend I spent time in Nashville with my brother and his best friend Smitty. I went to help take pics of a chess tournament--one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, chess tournaments in the country. I thought I would post a few of the pics that were still on my camera by the end of the weekend. I had to clear a lot of them out of my memory card because we took hundreds of pictures, and I had to clear out all the pics that I had cataloged from one round before taking pictures of the next round. So the pictures I had left on my camera were from the final round of picture taking. I had a great time, albeit my legs felt like they might fall off from the hundreds of squats and lunges I had to do to get good pictures of these kids playing chess so intently.





Besides learning a ton about my camera and getting so much more experience with how to maneuver it, I also spent time with my brother who I haven't seen in almost 2 years. It made me realize how much I miss having him in my life and how important my brother and sister are to me. I can't imagine what kind of life I would have without the two of them. They have impacted and enriched my life in so many ways, and I wish I could spend more time with both of them. It makes me realize how important it is to live close to family, no matter how much I want to move...I'm beginning to realize that maybe moving away from my family and everything I know is not the right choice for me right now.

In light of all this, is the fact that I'm also dealing with my parents' divorce and what that means in regard to what happens to our "family." It's not quite as easy as I thought it would be at 27 to handle the collapse of a unit of people you have only known a certain way your whole life, no matter how dysfunctional it is. When I was at my mom's house recently, I picked up some old pictures that used to be hanging in the kitchen on, what I just realized is, a Coors Light mirror, which I assume used to hang in my parents' deli in Ohio (which they owned until I was 4). I have taken pictures of these old pictures with my new camera so I can post them here for your enjoyment. I know you were all wondering what I looked like as a baby...ha ha. :) The other people in the pics are the rest of my family many, many years ago when I was a mere baby. These are some of my favorite pictures because I can't remember a time in my life when these weren't hanging up in our house.

Canoeing with mom and Marika...

In front of the family deli (Rudi's deli)...

Dad, Josh, and me in front of the deli...

Josh shoveling snow... :)